These Creepy Apps might Make You Think Twice Before Posting Information
photo: Patrik Nygren – cc
If you’ve never been curious enough to look, you probably aren’t aware of some pretty creepy apps on the market. I don’t mean “periodically send you a scary picture every week” creepy, I mean like, “your phone shouldn’t be allowed within a mile radius of elementary schools” creepy. I get tired of reading about the best, most amazing, most useful apps for your smartphone – here’s something a little different for once. Enjoy.
The premise is simple enough. You give this app your location and someone you “match” with a la Tinder-style swiping meets you in a public place for a short “cuddle.” This can be as simple as a quick hug, but it doesn’t have to be. I’d imagine it’s mostly something to do and then chuckle about afterwards, occasionally breaking the ice enough for an actual date. That’s what I’d imagine. Cuddlr’s video shows something a little more awkward.
Check it out:
That’s not an ironic “free hugs”- style snuggle to later go home and tell your roommates about over a glass of wine – that’s going from complete strangers to wondering what bank to hold up first on your bloodbath crime spree across the country. If you’re caressing somebody’s hair under the clouds in a park within 30 seconds of meeting them, you don’t have a free spirit, you have love addiction. Loveline with Dr. Drew airs weeknights from 10pm to midnight.
#4 Air PnP
Ah, there’s not much I appreciate more than a clever play on words. Much like the app it bases its name on, Air PnP allows users to rent out their bathroom to pee-weary strangers searching for a legal means of urinary relief.
AirPnP was created by two New Orleans natives who took the lack of urinals during Mardi Gras as inspiration for the app. While you’d think they’d know better than anyone why you wouldn’t want a shirtless, staggering, sandal-wearing “Chaz” asking you, “Dude-bro, where’s your plunger?,” apparently some folks are willing to play Russian roulette with their toilet for a little bit of scratch.
Having spent a good stint in a college-town myself during several Mardi Gras celebrations, I can say that I’ve had to brandish a bat more than once towards pushy partiers hoping to bypass permission into my house to use the facilities. A little money would not have changed my mind.
I’m all for party time, but don’t rage if you don’t have the bladder for it, “Chaz.”
Now here’s an app that doesn’t even bother to hide what it is.
Creepy collects the locations as well as the usernames of those that have been tagged in photos posted to sites like flickr and twitter. By simply searching a username you can see all the places that person has been over a chosen time interval and when they were there. It’s not offering anything that isn’t already available to the public, it just puts it all together nice and neatly for all your stalking needs.
If you find yourself needing an app to keep track of someone’s movement patterns, just keep at it, tiger. They’ll learn to love you eventually.
Finally, an app that searches your friends’ albums for pics of them in bikinis. You know, to give you ideas for what swimsuit to buy this Summer. That’s what you’re gonna use it for, right? With an image-recognition algorithm built into the app, this one gets our vote for the most high-tech of the creepy apps.
While its creators now flaunt it as a fashion-based app, previous iterations suggest it was once a little more honest with itself.
The app also lets you bookmark pics for later in case you forget which swimsuit you wanted to buy… ugh.
#1 Silent Camera
Our winner for the creepiest of the creepy apps comes to us from Japan.
Unfortunately, there’s a bit of a problem in certain Japanese cities with commuters taking upskirt shots (among other things) of women on metro lines, buses, escalators, you name it. It’s actually become bad enough that device manufacturers have disabled the ability to silence a camera’s shutter sound in an effort to alert women to potential perverts.
photo: Jennifer George – cc
The creators of Silent Camera are smart enough not to brand their product as such, but with a shutter-sound “override,” the app has become a workaround against the outing of a-hole “photographers.”
Behold, the marvels of technology.
Honorable Mention: Facebook
I can’t finish off a creepy apps list without mentioning our blue buddy, Facebook.
How could a free high-profile network allowing you to connect with friends and family possibly be creepy? Aside from the massive amounts of personal information you freely give them when signing up, they’ve found a way to scrape market-specific information from you under the guise of “free entertainment.”
You know those quizzes your friends post asking, “Which Sex and the City/Lord of the Rings/Harry Potter Character are You?” If you’ve ever bothered to find out, you might have noticed the questions they ask tend to focus on your everyday behavior. Yep, those questions aren’t dumped when you’re done with the quiz. They’re stored in data bases, sold to marketing strategists, and implemented into advertisements knowing exactly how often you buy shoes as well as how you’re such a “Samantha” when you start drinking.
If you can’t figure out what a company’s product is, the product is you.